I Give You Back

by: Joy Harjo

I release you, my beautiful and terrible 
fear. I release you. You were my beloved 
and hated twin, but now, I don’t know you 
as myself. I release you with all the 
pain I would know at the death of 
my children. 

You are not my blood anymore. 

I give you back to the white soldiers 
who burned down my home, beheaded my children, 
raped and sodomized my brothers and sisters. 
I give you back to those who stole the 
food from our plates when we were starving. 

I release you, fear, because you hold 
these scenes in front of me and I was born 
with eyes that can never close.

I release you 
I release you 
I release you 
I release you

I am not afraid to be angry. 
I am not afraid to rejoice. 
I am not afraid to be black. 
I am not afraid to be white. 
I am not afraid to be hungry. 
I am not afraid to be full. 
I am not afraid to be hated. 
I am not afraid to be loved. 

to be loved, to be loved, fear.

Oh, you have choked me, but I gave you the leash. 
You have gutted me but I gave you the knife. 
You have devoured me, but I laid myself across the fire. 

I take myself back, fear. 
You are not my shadow any longer. 
I won’t hold you in my hands. 
You can’t live in my eyes, my ears, my voice 
my belly, or in my heart my heart 
my heart my heart

But come here, fear. 
I am alive and you are so afraid of dying.

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Prompt

You might begin by writing with one of the following:

I give you back

I release you

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Grab a pen and paper or your favorite journal. Set your timer. Write for 15 minutes, pen never leaving the page. See what words flow.

Comment if you try. I would love to hear about your journey and experience with intuitive flow writing!

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Little note: I intend to sprinkle in poems I share in Intuitive Writing for Women or Grief Writing for Women classes as a means of inspiration and peak into the class and prompts, as well as share a part of my writing process; this poem, I Give You Back by Joy Harjo, inspired recent piece, The Day I Gave You Back.

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