Creating a container for grief

+ a grief writing workshop for women

To become fluid in the language of our souls, bodies, minds, and emotions, we need to be graceful in both the language of joy and sorrow.

If we cannot touch grief or talk about it, our soul is limited. If our soul is limited, we cannot come into wholeness and feel the richness of life and our emotions.

There is a common belief that once we land in loss, we will never be able to go back.

We are scared to travel the road of grief for fear it will consume us and that we will get stuck in the quicksand of distress and lose our ability to carry on.

When we do not have a safe container for grief, we do not know how it feels to be supported. Thus, we do not trust the darkness, so we do not go.

When we speak our grief aloud, we move it from a place of shadow and isolation into the light of day and a shared experience.

To understand it is safe to walk into sorrow, we need to feel safe to show up. To feel and heal in a caring and compassionate manner, we need to be held.

How do we create a safe container to allow ourselves to fall into grief?

How do we learn to be with the intensity of emotion and trust it will not hold us hostage?

We seek community and support, solitude, and implement rest and self-care practices that soothe and support clarity, spaciousness, and ease.

We begin with readiness and by believing that our feelings are not here to harm but ask only to be felt and acknowledged, which is not a comfortable or easy thing to do.  

We lean into our easy, meaningful practice edge and learn to discern when it is enough and when to pull back when our nervous system is signaling symptoms of overwhelm.

With time, space, curiosity, and a sincere willingness to open our hearts, we expand our capacity and skill to be with emotion, learn to honor our process and pace, and begin to believe we will find our way out of a world that can feel heavy and despairing. 

This then begins a ripple effect on our relationships and the world.  

In an interview with Francis Weller, author of The Wild Edge of Sorrow, Weller talks about how the roots of our emptiness stem from society, our loss of relationship with the living world, the rise of individualism, and our loss of connection to our body, senses, and community. 

He discusses our primal need to belong and how when society fails to give us what we need, as it inevitably will, we think we are doing something wrong and must prove our worth to belong, harboring further isolation and separation. 

Weller defines healing as not trying to fix or repair something but healing as restoring something. 

To begin to heal and restore a sense of belonging, we need to start talking about our emptiness and grief. 

We are not meant to carry it alone.

The language of ritual and remembering when we are together in a community evokes a different layer of healing in the body and psyche. Grief, like joy, like love, is the joint space between us. 

The more we grieve in a supportive container, the more we can love, the more we will feel peaceful, held, and stable, and have the capacity to be with the full experience of life without struggle.

We don't need to change or alter our grief, fix a broken heart, or get advice on our sorrow. We need sovereignty and community and a safe place to land when stuff happens.

We will never return to who we were after loss and death. However, we can learn not to fear the force of the flames and lean into grief in a way that feels supportive, and when we do, we begin to build trust in ourselves and our emotions. We learn to trust life and all its complexity.

We eagerly await an invitation to grieve, to practice deep listening and reverence, to become proficient in the language of soul, and permission to speak our heartache.

Our grief is our soul's deepest desire for a return to self, to return to belonging.

Let's tread lightly into grief collectively. Let us remember.

Let us walk each other home. 

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Grief Writing Workshop for Women

I invite you to join me for an evening of community and connection, healing and inspiration, resorting and remembering.

Online, November 30, 6:00 - 7:30 PM PST.

Cost: $33.

Learn more HERE and register HERE, or send $33 via Venmo @Dina-Varellas.

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Do you find yourself in a place of transition, stuck and unsure of what steps to take next, wrapped in worry of tomorrow? Maybe you would like to touch that place of ease and grace inside your grief or build trust in yourself and inherent wisdom.

1:1 coaching can offer a safe and supportive space to clarify your needs, discover your heart desires, increase stability, and expand your capacity and skill to navigate the discomfort and uncertainty of life.

I invite you to schedule a 30-minute discovery call with me. You can book your complimentary call HERE.

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Writing Prompts & Reflections

What does connection and belonging mean to you?

In what ways do you honor your grief?

What creates a safe container within yourself to be with sadness?

What allows you to feel emotion in your body?